Month: June 2017

July 8th will be my four months out and I just came from my 3 month checkup.  Lately I’ve been getting annoyed, frustrated, basically freaking out over the numbers on the scale.  I wouldn’t say I’m obsessed, but I do get upset when the scale is 2lbs up overnight.  My nurse brain knows this is just water weight, but man it annoys the f**k out of me.  It’s also annoying that the doc’s scale adds an additional 2 lbs on top of it.  However despite that I may have stated before I am 50 lbs down.  According to the doc this is better than expected.  The nutritionist said they expect patients to loose anywhere from 10-12 lbs a month which is about 2-3 lbs a week, so despite my ? I’m right on track.

I did have some concerns at this visit.  I’ve been feeling a tugging/pulling sensation every omce in awhile, which the doc assures me is normal.  Apparently there is an internal stitch somewhere in there that causes that feeling.  He did make sure he didn’t feel a hernia in the area—I’m hernia free so everything is normal.

I also had some burning questions for the dietitian, questions which have stemmed from reading Dr. Google!  Yes even though I’m a nurse I do still read Dr. Google, but I know that Google isn’t the authority on everything unlike others in the world.  My first question was on straw use.  I hate drinking out of glasses number one and number two I tried it and found that I can drink way more using a straw than not.  Disclaimer on the straw folks there is a time post surgery when you aren’t supposed to use a straw.  Theory is that you drink too fast and that could make you nauseous and possibly vomit and the other reason is that you bring more air into your belly and that can make you gassy and uncomfortable.  It has done neither to me so I’m using a straw.  I also wanted to know about calorie goals.  I see all this talk about this surgery patient eating 800 calories that surgery patient eating 1200 calories.  It is not a big deal at this point, as per the dietitian who said at this point if I were maybe eating 800 to 1000 calories that would be fantastic.  The biggest concern for her was still getting enough protein 70 to 80 grams per day. I’m thinking I may have to theow another protein shake in the mix I’ll have to a bit more careful tracking.  The bottom pic is just a haha funny until next time, happy reading! 

Don’t take the title too seriously folks! I’m starting this post with a disclaimer and excusing myself ahead of time for my slightly off, a little raunchy, and highly sarcastic brand of humor.  It is what has gotten me through life since I expanded my vocabulary beyond one syllable words.  Without it I most certainly would not be the lovable person I am today! ?

So here is my list of “hazards” at almost four months out and 50+ lbs down:

You will discover room in your pants, which quite possibly you could fit another person in.  I can already fit myself into one leg of my pj pants up to mid thigh! ?

The seatbelt is not trying to kill you any longer.  I know mine is no longer trying to strangle me when I drive.

You may discover, if you are female and like to free the tatas every once in awhile, that cooking can become a hazard.  Ladies there will now be two individual breasts, you will have space between your cleavage.  This my friends can mean that if you are tasting hot Spanich rice to make sure you got the flavor right it could fall into that space and give you two small 2nd degree burns.  Yes this is a true hazard and no I couldn’t make that up if I tried, but yeah it’s pretty damn funny!

You will rediscover body parts you may not have seen in awhile and it may not be pretty.  Never fear this will get better I promise you will not faint when you look in the mirror.

Holy self esteem Batman!!! This will increase tremendously.

Do not be afraid to take flight with the bat wings you’ll probably have under your arms. Love them, embrace them, work them out to death and they will probably slowly disappear to maybe hummingbird wings.

There will be more room in the shower for naughty things ? Couple that with having incredible sex and I think your set for life!

Your energy levels will be crazy! Some days you’ll feel like a super hero on steroids!!!

The biggest thing is everything just feels easier.  All those daily functions of life don’t feel like such a chore anymore.

Now I could probably go on forever with this list, but I think I’ve subjected you to enough.  Hope you enjoy—happy reading.

Holy aching tailbone my friends! I guess my derriere has lost a lot of its padding because sitting for more than an hour at a time makes me want to scream!  My coworker swears it will get better, but so far it hasn’t.  So although I enjoyed my day trips with my mom this week, sitting on a pillow or my sweatshirt just wasn’t doing it.  If anyone out there knows this feeling please please give me some ideas for alleviating my sore rear we’d both be very grateful.

I noticed something else this week, before surgery I really loved to go out to eat and I do still like it, but it’s such a chore to decide what would be ok with my stomach to eat.  My mom was good we shared a lot, normally she cooks but she didn’t want to be in the kitchen all week and I don’t blame her.  One night my parents wanted pizza, which I have not eaten yet, so I had to look for something else and I realized that portion sizes are out of control.  What I ordered could easily feed 3 to 4 people.  I even took a glance at the table across from us, this man had a cheesesteak in front of him that could feed me for a month!!! No wonder Americans are trending to the heavier side.  We go out on a regular basis, a lot of us don’t cook, they serve us endless apps and portion sizes that could feed a small army and society wonders why most of us are on the heavy side.  Europeans most definitely do not eat like Americans.  I was in Italy a few years ago and yes they love their pasta, but the pasta is more like an appetizer and it’s a small portion like a taste and then you go on to the rest of your meal, which I may add is not a supersized portion of guilt.  That being said I can’t say I ate healthy over this past week with my parents, it was definitely an experience of the difficulty with eating out when your stomach is the size of a banana.  Until next time happy reading!

“Addiction” is everywhere, all over the tv, the radio, plastered to bill boards and you may ask yourself “what does this have to do with a woman who blogs about her life with a gastric sleeve.”  Well it has everything to do with it.  I would not have gotten this way if I didn’t have my demons.

The dictionary definition of addiction is “the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity.
Devotion to, dedication to, obsession with, infatuation with, passion for, love of, mania for, enslavement to.”  That being said food can be just as devastating an issue as alcohol and drugs.  Many of you reading this already know me on a personal level and know there are addiction demons in my family.  Recently I had to shall we say “adult up” and take care of my father who was in the hospital for a week because of his demons.  I’m pretty sure no one in my family wants to discuss this publicly, but I’m far from ashamed.  Over the course of the past week I discovered through my aunt, my dad’s younger sister that not only was she an alcoholic but so is my father’s older sister; not to mention the reason they never saw any of my Grandpa’s family as kids was because they were all alcoholics.  Talking to my father about this I told him flat out he needed help and that my demons weren’t alcohol and drugs, but food and I’ve tried so hard to deal with that.

My surgery was definitely a way for me to conquer these demons that seem to plague at least one side of my family.  Food addiction is a very real thing.  Eating is the only thing you have control of and the food must have a chemical effect on the brain that makes you feel better. The only problem is that in making yourself feel better you could slowly be killing yourself just like any other drug or alcohol addiction.

I may have mentioned before that I was a closet binge eater.  I would just mindlessly eat and then consciously fast over feeling guilty that I’d just stuffed myself to the point of bursting. While I was eating it really was “mindless,” just this incredible numbness where I didn’t have to think about any of the crap I was dealing with.  It was the same feeling I have when I’m getting tattooed I just go somewhere else I don’t concentrate on the pain or the noise, I honestly don’t feel anything my eyes are closed and I’m just in this blank peaceful place.  Only thing is that peaceful place with eating was making my life crazy difficult.

So what’s the purpose of me writing this little blurb?  I’m not sure myself, maybe it’s my form or therapy.  Maybe it’s my way of justifying the behavior that leads to addiction I really don’t know, but happy reading and feel free to share any comments you may have. ?