A Thin Girl Inside a Fat Chick!

2 weeks postop and I now have what I’m calling the blah factor.  I’m told lots of changes are happening in your body and you don’t even know it, well some of those changes cause me to sit here and be slightly depressed for no reason whatsoever.  I just attended a support group this pst Saturday where a psychologist spoke about “emotional pitfalls” after surgery.  Yes there are so many, but to sit here and be depressed for no good reason on a beautiful day is beyond my understanding.

I’m also dealing with being extremely thirsty no matter what or how much I drink.  Not dehydrated to my nursing knowledge and waiting for a phone call from the nutritionist.  Oh and I’m also craving salt and nothing I’m allowed to have right now is helping that at all.  A sugar free ice pop did save me from that dry mouth feeling I’ve had so I guess I will have to have more of them during the day.  The problem is that nothing is satisfying right now and I’m not sure that’s a part of the normal process or not, hence my phone call to the nutritionist.

Other things have happened over the past 2 weeks where all I have to say is make sure you have a strong support system if you choose to do this.  A fair weather support system will not work for this type of surgery.  Yes the work is all on you, but you need people to tell you you can do it, we’re proud of you and you look good.  It’s essential to your mental health.

Lastly, let me just address the question I’ve had about “well can’t I just do the diet and not have surgery.”   Well I suppose yes you could, but do I suggest that no.  First of all it is the most difficult, most unappetizing diet I’ve ever tried and I’ve tried a lot of diets.  Secondly, I’m pretty sure that the diet for someone who hasn’t had the surgery will have the yo-yo effect.  Once you drop say 20lbs it will all come back and then some after you start eating normally again.  So for me it was either commit or live with the way I was and I didn’t want to do that.  So here I am talking to you letting you know that again it’s a commitment and not a decision to make lightly.  Happy reading until my next post! ?

Post-op week one and never a dull moment.  Surgically everything went well my incisions look good, well truthfully it looks like a train ran over my stomach but I bruise very easily.  If you’re contemplating this surgery you will have five or six small incisions, the largest will be where they remove the cut portion of stomach from your abdomen.  I’m not going to tell you it’s not going to hurt because it definitely does, but the sooner you get up and get moving the better you will feel.

My one week post-op appointment was today, everything looks great he literally ripped the steri-strips off that hadn’t fallen off on their own and as I said it looks a little ugly.  On a brighter note the idea of this surgery is of course weight loss and I’ve lost 20lbs, then again I’ve had nothing but liquids and protein shakes for a week.

Part of the post op appointment is seeing the dietician and discussing the second phase of the diet.  My first phase was clear liquid the second phase is full liquid which does include some solids including applesauce, cottege cheese, sugar free pudding, yogurt and puréed soups.  So far I’ve been doing well with the clear liquids and hope to continue doing well.  If you’ve had the surgery and are frequently nauseous or vomiting on a regular basis you need to call your surgeon because there could be something wrong.  Remember when you start the second phase of your diet no startches like noodles or bread they expand in your stomach and may injure the staple line of your new pouch.  All these phases of eating aren’t about weight loss, that’s shall we say a side effect, it’s about healing your new stomach.

Lastly make sure you have a strong support system.  This is not an easy thing to go through by yourself.  I have a lot of coworkers who support me and our proud of me, and a handful of friends that get that this is not easy, but there are still some close to me who feel it’s a “quick fix” or somehow want to make it about them.  Remember this is about you, your health and getting a fresh start.  Until we meet again happy reading.

First of all let me say I mean no offense to any WWII veterans and theirs families.  So on that note my sugery was March 8th so right now I’m postop day one.

Yesterday I was petrified but honestly the CRNA shot me up with some good drugs and all I could think of was palm trees m, a hammock and beautiful man bringing something with tequilla in it.  Next thing I know I’m partially awake and in PACU.  I was barely awake when I got up to my room.  So many moons later when the anesthesia wore off I had to use the bathroom so that’s what I did with assistance.  The next time I got out bed, I did laps around the place like it was my job!  All I have to say is the more you walk the better you’ll feel.

All the staff in the hospital has been really friendly and knowledgeable, and it’s no joke that you may have to drink out of medicine cups 1 every 15 min.  Before you can do that you need to have a swallow study which is an xray where you swallow small amounts of contrast and they look at your staple line to make sure nothing is leaking.  After that you’re home free to start drinking out of those med cups and you’ll need them because my throat feels like it’s on fire most likely from intubation during the surgery.

If you’re planning on sleeping in the hospital forget it.  You’ll have people coming in to take vitals and management doing rounds, plus nurses doing their assessments and passing meds, even in the middle of the night.

This is my job in the hospital which is walking and drinking out of medicine cups and more walking.  Like I said the sleep you’ll get while here is limited so try your best.  More to come soon, happy reading!

 

The title of this post is not very encouraging I know, however this has been my life for two weeks while approaching my surgery date.  Not only has the diet been extremely difficult, but dealing with last minute mix ups has also been super stressful.

So let me tell you a little bit about this diet…I’m not going to lie it’s mostly liquid and some of the sample combinations you can eat during the day are rather unappetizing.  For example I don’t eat my oatmeal with a glass of tomato juice.  The items included in my diet are things like applesauce, sugar free jello and pudding, tamato juice, oatmeal, and of course protein shakes.  I also need to intake 64oz of water/ sugar free/caffeine free beverages a day.  Can I tell you that nursing and going to the bathroom every 5 min just doesn’t mix.  May as well stick a foley catheter in me and call it a day!  The diet creators have granted a kindness by including a small salad with non starchy vegetables, fat free salad dressing and baked chichen or fish. Trust me its not much and the temptation is definitely real.

Why is all this torture required?? Well every surgeon is different but it is all designed to shrink your liver presurgery and make it easier to get to your stomach.  The liver really is one of our most amazing organs if it’s not too far gone it can regenerate itself if need be, but it also can accumulate fat on it over the years especially in overweight and obese people and this can lead to liver failure.  I was diagnosed with fatty liver a few lighter years ago and have been struggling with weight ever since, so hopefully this will improve the health of my liver greatly.

The question I keep recieving is “Are you scared?”  I want to say what the hell kind of question is that??! I’m f…king petrified!  I keep telling myself it’s an hour/hour and a half out of my life that will change the rest of my whole life for the better.  Surgery is Wednesday, clear liquids and parents on Tuesday…happy reading talk to yo all soon!

The countdown has begun!  My surgery date is March 8th and 2 weeks presurgery is this coming Wednesday.  I’ve had so many issues getting to this point it’s been a bit of a bumpy ride.  Let’s start with the change of insurance.  The insurance I had was not the greatest to start with so the company changed to something they thought would be better for the employees well they’d never heard of my surgeon before ?.  Needless to say mu surgeons office assured me that they will work with the new insurance and that I shouldn’t worry.  I’m still worrying but not changing the surgeon I’ve started with.

In addition to the insurance company not knowing my surgeon existed there were also more nutrition appointments I needed to go to in order to fulfill the insurance requirements.  Now that I’ve fulfilled all the requirements my preadmission testing is Monday and my presurgical appointment is a week from Monday.

Don’t think it’s the last stretch and all sunshine and roses.  I will be on a very limited presurgical diet until the day before surgery when it will be all liquid.  I’m pretty sure I’m going to be a grouchy you b**ch for the next couple of weeks.

Despite the fact that the sugery is right around the corner I’m still dealing with personal issues, my relationship, my family.  I’m still hearing that this is a quick fix and by no means is it one.  There is so much preparation mentally and physically that goes into this decision you really need to be a strong person to make it.  Well happy reading and I’ll be writing again soon.

 

I realize I don’t post here as often as I should, I suppose I figure that I will have pleanty of time off to post and you all may get tired of my blogs.  I wanted to tell you all a little bit about my PFT, which stands for pulmonary function test.  It’s part of presurgical clearance, at least part of mine every surgeons office/insurance company may ask for something different.

So the PFT is done in the pulmonogists office and it is basically this large computerized machine with a mouth piece.  The technician will tell when and how to blow into it and you may recieve a puff of albuterol as part of the procedure.  It’s pretty harmless although I was tired of listening to the tech cheer me on as I was trying to blow into this machine.

I had some mix ups along this journey and was scheduled for the PFT/pulmonologist backward through no fault of my own.  Typically the way the pulmonologist I saw works it is you have the PFT first and then you see him in a seperate appointment to discuss the results.  I did the PFT second due to a “misunderstanding” with the office staff.

I’ve also just had my cardiology clerance which is like nothing.  I happen to have a cardiologist that I see on a regular basis and all she did was talk to me about what kind of surgery I was going to have, warn me that I shouldn’t get pregnant and should it happen I need to change my blood pressure meds and do and EKG.  For those of you out there with white coat syndrome where anything done at the doc terrifies you and EKG is an electrocardiagram, a picture of your heart rhythm.  It’s completely noninvasive although you may feel a bit like a lab rat hooked up to 12 leads, but it’s really very quick. I hope all goes well for those readers thinking about surgery and trust these two appointments really are very simple and you should have no problems.

I may have said this already, so do forgive me if I’m about to say it again.  I have not always been shall we say “fat,” but I was always chubby.  That being said whoever reads this and is considering surgery you need to know and realize that this is not going to fix all your problems.  That loosing 100+ pounds is great for things like your self esteem and your closet, but if it was broken pre surgery it will still be broken post surgery.  That the comments made to you as a child, the looks you got as an adult and all the scenarios that never should have happened but did are like knives that have cut pieces of your soul away and created the person you are.  You need to realize that loosing the weight is not going to heal your soul.

In my life I have always set out to surround myself with people who could see past the way I look and see me for the person I am on the inside.  This has not been easy.  Sometimes I’ve discovered that the people who seemed to be your best friends in the whole world needed the “ugly fat friend” to score or couldn’t get past my fat thighs.  And it’s easy for someone on the outside looking in to say here’s a tissue get rid of them and get over it.  It’s simply not that easy.

Again I go back to the surgeon that said this is about you not about anyone else.  I’m not going to say this post is about New Years resolutions because I am so past that point.  This post is about why?  Why I’m doing this and why someone who is reading this may do this.  Do it because it will make you feel healthier so you won’t have to get up in the morning and be still all over or feel like you haven’t slept all night because you snore like a banshee.  Do it because it will make you feel beautiful on the inside and out.  Do it so you can say f-you to all those bullies out there who’ve made you feel like less of a person.  Lastly, do it because you love yourself and you love life.

Hey everyone a couple days ago I had my endoscopy and man was that a trip!  The procedure itself is only 10 or 15 min, but the drugs they gave me really threw me for a loop.  But before I get into that, let me first start with what an endoscopy is.

An endoscopy is a procedure where an endoscope (basically a camera) is put down your throat and used to view the esophagus, stomach and part of the intestines.  Your anatomy pops up on a TV screen in beautiful living color for your doc to see.  This allows the doc to take samples of anything he may suspect is off as well as samples to test if you have any bacteria in your stomach that shouldn’t be there.  I am thankfully, for all intents and purposes fine, but they did biopsy a few places but I won’t know those results for about a week or so.

Meanwhile, back to the happy drugs.  As a nurse I make a terribly anxious patient and maybe to some a bit difficult.  Difficult because I know to ask all the questions which people don’t expect a layman to ask such as what drugs are you going to give me to sleep or can you put that IV in my right hand instead of my right arm?  Everyone in same day medical was extremely nice and most of the nurses I knew by face or had worked with at one time or another so despite my being anxious I knew that no one was going to let anything happen to me.

My procedure nurse was fantastic and knowledgeable about what he was doing and everything went fine until they hooked me up to the monitor.  So I was more than a bit anxious on the inside because my blood pressure and heart rate were no joke sky high.  The little Asian anesthesiologist told me “this no good, give you medicine to relax,” which she did.  Then came the bit block and now I was started to not so much get claustrophobic but I just felt like it was all too much and despite having gargled and swallowed some meds to make the back of my throat numb I was still gagging on this bite block.  So the tech gave me a min, but by the time I bit down on the block and he strapped it around my head I was out like a light.  The last thing I heard was “enjoy your sleep.”  Now some people say this is the best sleep they have ever had, but truthfully I didn’t feel out long enough to even know it.

I will tell you this I woke up on the stretcher being rolled out of the procedure room and back into recovery.  Same day medical wants to be like the Wizard of Oz where “people come and go so quickly.”  Recovery literally felt like a blink of an eye.  I went into my cubby room and was trying to ask for Vaseline for my lips because I knew I couldn’t eat or drink anything for 2 hours after because of the throat numbing meds.  And the nurse who I knew was so quick and although I like her she honestly just wanted to get the blood pressure cuff on me and get me out.  I had to tell her I couldn’t eat or drink anything because I had viscous lidocaine to numb my throat.  Totally in la la land the room was spinning, but I was happy as a clam and my mom had to help me get dressed or I would have fallen right on the floor.  All in all it wasn’t a terrible experience but do I every want to do that again absolutely not.

So if you are reading this and are thinking about going through this process or are in this process now and haven’t had the endoscopy yet enjoy that happy high you will certainly get from the after effects of the drugs and happy reading 😉

Throughout this process things seem to meeting a few bumps in the road, some things seem to be getting done backwards like my appointment with the pulmonologist.  It seems inevitable that although I explain why I need the appointment it somehow manages to get screwed up.  On that note we all know insurances are about making nothing easy;  referral for this, referral for that.  My insurance card on the other hand has referral suggested if not pay a higher amount.  Well I have gotten tired of fighting with the woman at my primary doctors office who tells me there are no referrals for this insurance so I just pay the higher amount.  Yes I am giving up because some things are just not worth my breath anymore.

In any case I called this pulmonologist probably a month ago or so to make an appointment—a woman who very short with me on the phone answered and started arguing with me about what needed to be done first and where I needed to have the pulmonary function test done and this that and another thing.  Finally she made me an appointment I show up only to get possibly a new girl tell me she’s never seen my insurance before and I should have had a PFT (pulmonary function test) first.

Although pleasant, the newer girl referred to the more seasoned staff member who told me that yes normally they did the PFT first and you see the doctor second to avoid having to come back again but since I was here there was no reason I could not see the doc and that based upon my insurance it was not necessary to have a referral just recommended.

Every doctors office I have been in on this ride has done a patient history.  I have been asked the do I snore or have sleep apnea so much I am ready to wear a sign stating “Yes I snore–How should I know if I have sleep apnea it’s called “sleep” apnea for a reason!” Aside from being tired of hearing that question the doc didn’t tell me anything I already didn’t expect to here, and he was nice enough to tell me I didn’t have to come back a third time to get the PFT results.

For those of you out there that don’t know what pulmonary function tests are you basically sit in a machine and breathe/blow into a mouth piece that measures how well your lungs work.  Based upon this they can tell a whole heck of a lot including if you have Asthma.  I will let you all know how that goes when it happens.  Happy reading 🙂

I think when all is said and done I will be very tired of hearing how important protein is.  It seems to be the backbone of the bariatric diet; in theory it should be the backbone to any diet but this carb junkie is very honestly already tired of trying different flavors of protein powder.  I have used protein drinks/powder before but not the specifie whey protein isolate powder that the pre/post surgical diet calls for.  Most were quite tolerable when mixed with skim milk although I recived a face from the dietitian when I asked if I could do this post surgery.  So picking up on the body language I have started mixing it with water.  The samples mixed according to instructions were slightly gelatinous and well gross.

Believe me when I tell you how important protein powder is in the beginning weeks pre and post surgery.  It’s pretty much your main sustenance so you’d better love it.  Yes I know I’ve been quite sarcastic throughout this blog, but this is no joke you have got to love this protein powder like someone you’d want to take to bed with you!

If you are reading this and are seriously considering undergoing a procedure the presurgical diet is one to two weeks and the postsurgical diet is about  8 weeks and then it is a matter of reintroducing yourself to regular food a little bit at a time.  It is not a life sentence of “I can never enjoy food or eating again!” but trust me you are going to want to make conscious healthy choices that are right for your stomach because you may not have the same tast for things you once had.  I was recently out with a friend who had bariatric surgery and I heard her state that there are rules to follow for a reason and if you follow them the procedure is the best thing you can do for yourself.   Although I haven’t had the surgery yet I completely agree with her.

Although much of this diet seems torturous: protein powder, plain yogurt, scrambled eggs, pureed meats I feel it will all be worth it in the end.  I want to improve my quality of life greatly and I never want to return to the place I’m at now again.  I still have demons right now like carbs and forcing myself to get up and move more, but it’s coming along.

So for those of you considering bariatric surgery here’s the scoop…

The presurgery diet is pretty much an all liquid diet for about two weeks before your surgery.  You need about 4 servings of protein powder per day and 6-8 servings of foods off a very short list which includes vegetable juice, non-starchy vegetables, and sugar free jello.  And of course drinking lots of water is a must.

The hospital will start you out consuming liquids very slowly and by the time you go home you will be eating clear lquids the doc will let you know when you can advance during each phase of post surgical recovery.

The second phase is a pureed diet and lasts about 3 weeks.  Yes there will be lots of measuring involved with all the diets pre and post surgery so become very familiar with thise measuring spoons and cups in your kitchen.

The last phase is a soft diet which includes things like scrambles eggs, lowfat ricotta cheese and chili.

Well that’s that I still have a few presurgical appointments to go to, but the date is set for March 8th wish me luck.